27 Reasons to Avoid Farmers Markets

Eating local is all the rage right now. Still, there are plenty of reasons to avoid farmers’ markets and roadside stands. If you can say—and believe—the following statements, don’t be taken in by all the foodie hype!

  1. I prefer bland, tasteless food. Taste buds are best kept lulled and complacent. Like old-school vanilla before the French got hold of it.

  2. If farmers have faces—which I doubt—why would I want to look at them? Anonymity rules!

  3. I love factory-farmed meat, dairy, and eggs. All animals belong in little boxes.

  4. I love eating chemicals and pesticides. After all, if this stuff preserves food, it will preserve me, too. Won’t it?

  5. The goal of living in community is to be like all the other neighborhoods in the world. We’d all be happier if we were homogenous.
    Diversity is a killer.

  6. I love GMO. One day I might sport gills like a fish or raise glow-in-the-dark rabbits. Could anything be cooler?

  7. I hate my neighbors and I hope they all lose their jobs and have to move away. Small local businesses are nothing but a pain.

 

 

Read all here:

http://eatlocalgrown.com/article/11392-27-reasons-to-avoid-farmers-markets-satire.html

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